The Almanac of Corruption

I was constantly wondering if there’s something like an almanac which puts together nicely the steals and screws of the capitalist/conservative AKP government. Luckily I found it on the webpage of the CHP party. Thanks for the CHP guys for doing their job for once. There are a lot more stunts the AKP guys pulled which I remember that are not in the list, and I didn’t put the same types of thievery over and over not to bore you. Reading this list made me despise the human race once again. No it is not only this bigot government, it’s not only in Turkey, it’s the whole human race which is selfish and ridiculously ambitious. It’s the local guy who wants to become the chairman of the neighborhood, it’s your neighbor who wants to become the chairman of the summerhouse site, it’s your friend who wants to add you to a money scam cult, it’s the waiter at the restaurant who inflates the bill, it’s the engineer in your city who steals from the raw material, so that they can all screw you over, and they have no interest at all whether you get hurt or lose your money or even die. The worst part of not being one of them is realizing you’re surrounded by hideous, disgusting creatures. Anyway, read away...

* Before Tayyip Erdoğan became the mayor of İstanbul, his ownings were a 2-3 apartments and a few shares in various companies. 7 years later he was announced to have saved a BILLION dollars. But of course it doesn’t surprise me at all. I remember at those times how simple it was for him to just GET money, without even planning a scam or some shit.

After he became prime minister, his 26 year old son bought a freight ship worth 2,325,000 dollars. His other son bought an apartment in USA worth 261,000 dollars. Other than that, the two brothers bought a house in Turkey worth around 800,000 dollars. Prime minister himself bought a similar house close to this one. He claims that he has to do trade in order to make a living cause his salary (7000 dollars/month) is not enough.

* Oh this one is good. Kemal Unakıtan’s (minister of money) son decides to go for “corn” trade. Then expelliarmus! The tax for corn trade decreases to 20%. The magician’s son buys all the corn he needs for the trade. And after four days, wingardium leviosa! The taxes increase back to 45%.

The same little magician then decides to make egg trade. First, lumos maxima! He receives 2 million dollars of “encourage money”, and finally, avada kedavra! Taxes for egg trade suddenly drops from 18% to 8%.

* I didn’t even understand this one... The same Unakıtan guy’s company bought a property for around 10,000 dollars. One and a half year later, he sold the property to another company of him for around 1,000,000 dollars, without paying any tax at all. OK, I really didn’t get this one, but it’s obvious the guy knows how to conjure money out of thin air. Man, some guys are pure genius.

* Right after AKP came to power, in 13 days the government made 219 road-making auctions which costed a total of around 50 million dollars. Quite unsurprisingly, none of the auctions were over 700 thousand dollars, so that it wouldn’t be inspected. It’s quite amusing how much brain these ultra-religious guys spend to scam money. But then again, this is the primary purpose of the evil capitalist bigot money empire. I definitely miss the good old days where evil would dwell in dark and damp towers dressed in black cloaks. Back then even the evil had some decency and style, and some quite stupid world domination plans (I’m gonna rule the world with this magical golden ring, no kidding).

* The member of AKP Women Branch Emine Alioğlu wins 10 of the 50 station renewal auctions of the government. Do you understand when I say stuff like “station renewal auction”? It’s important that you do because this is the primary source of scam money the bigot parties make. It’s like this woman owns a company. The government needs renewal in stations so they make auctions between companies and give the job to the best bitting company. But of course, the winner of these auctions are never the best bitter, but the closest to the leading party. Just like this woman wins 10 auctions just because she’s an AKP member. I even remember once a member of the leading party being asked a question “Why did you give the auction to the man whose wife is covered in hijab instead of the best bitter?” and answering: “of course, the people we work with should care for what they wear and how they act”

Of course, the punch line is yet to come. This woman who won these 10 auctions and who owns a company worth 25,000 dollars owns a Turkish green card, which is given to poor citizens to have some privileges like free hospital (I love my English, free hospital for everyone, it’s on me).

* Oh fuck me mate! A 2.1 million dollar worth job was given to a sea transport company founded one week before this event by an ex AKP member. And this time the government didn’t even need an auction for a job worth as small as 2.1 million dollars.

* The government seized a hotel in exchange for a 52 million dollar bank debt of a company, cancelling the debt. A little while later, the same hotel was sold to an AKP supporting company for 25 million dollars. OK now I regret I used fuck me mate on the previous paragraph. TWENTY SEVEN FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS disappeared in a few days. I should definitely hire a black gangsta rapper to swear in my place.

* The government tried to sell a 51 million dollar worth paper factory to a company very close to AKP for 1.1 million dollars! This time the paper-syndicate sued this sell and stopped it.

* After minister of internal affairs, Abdülkadir Aksu became the minister, he starts a lawsuit against the Turkish Jockey Club. Quite amazingly, the jockey club hires the minister’s son as a consultant for 7000 dollars/month, which is a bitchload of money in TR standards (I just invented a new swear, I’m proud of myself).

* For the first time in TR history, a national foundation wanted to open a lawsuit against a minister. The ministry of Education made 62 auctions for 135 elementary school constructions. However, since they corrupted the auctions in favor of their buddies, the auction-foundation wanted to start a lawsuit. But of course, this request was denied by the government. You wanna what’s fucked up? I mean what’s really fucked up. It is the fact that the people want to become ministers for certain areas so that they can abuse those places. Some guy wants to become the minister of education so he can corrupt the school construction auctions, another guy wants to become the minister of money so he can lower the taxes for his son’s trade business. Whatever power you seized by showing off your mild-Muslim skills don’t matter, because even atheists don’t give themselves to money like this. I’ve met people, mostly in the military, who make fun of me cause I’m observing the stars, who keep saying knowledge or science or art or good or bad is just crap and what only matters is money. And these people are always the mosque-going, fully religious looking people. Always. I once read a saying of the prophet of Islam, “If other people don’t envy your religion by looking at you and your deeds, then you should reconsider your faith”. Even this single sentence explains who’s applying Islam the right way and who’s corrupted.

* Yeah I know you got sick of reading the list but people aren’t sick of stealing, so read on. Another very important manure factory worth 120 million dollars was sold for 83.1 million. Even the buyer of the factory was amazed at how cheap it was.

* The AKP government sold another critical bank called Sümerbank for 3.75 million dollars. 4.5 months later, a part of the field of the bank was sold to another company to make a shopping mall, for 13.75 million dollars, plus the junk of the factory for one million dollars. That’s right, even the junk of the factory which was sold for 3 million was worth a million dollars.

* The minister of transport Binali Yıldırım’s son received 200,000 Euros from a company located in Germany. He bought ship with this money from Italy. Binali Yıldırım also is the ex-chairman of this company.

And in exchange for this 200,000 dollars what did the government do? A ship which belongs to the government was rented to this company, with no auction at all!

* A very important gas company was partially sold to Israeli businessman Ofer for 446 million dollars. But after that, it came out that the Israeli businessman had gained 755 million dollars with this trade. Again, this sell was made illegally behind closed doors.

The prime minister first claimed that he doesn’t know Ofer at all. Then he said he met him only once. Then it was understood that he met him more than once. The minister of money Kemal Unakıtan had meetings with Ofer about Kuşadası, Galataport and TÜPRAŞ auctions. He even went to Hong Kong with the Israeli businessman’s private jet.

* An AKP member’s concience got the better of him and he explained in detail how the government job auctions were shared between the AKP people. And it came out that AKP has created a working system in cities like Hatay, Çorum, İstanbul, Samsun, Sinop, Ankara, Kırklareli, Gümüşhane, Bolu, Afyonkarahisar, Adana, Amasya, to continously suck the blood of the country like slimy leeches.

In response to this, Tayyip Erdoğan said “When an AKP member joins an auciton worth 10, 20, 50 thousand dollars, you instantly attack him. Isn’t he the son of this country?”

* Before AKP came to power Tayyip Erdoğan promised that he will lift the invincibility of the parliementers. But he didn’t keep his promise of course. And he can’t, because if the invincibilities were to be lifted, the next day more than half of AKP member would face lawsuits.

* Several times it has been PROVEN by the court of how some AKP members plan, corrupt and share the government auctions. Now you know their plan? Bringing Sheria? What’re you smoking? If Sheria would come to Turkey they would be the first ones to lose several limbs. What this capitalist-conservative party wants to do is to legally suck the shit out of Turkish citizens. They have legal rights to join government auctions. They have legal rights to give the auctions to anyone they like. So let’s say I have a company, and I give 250,000 dollars to your son to start business. In exchange, you sell me a government property worth 80 million dollars for 20 million dollars. Did it make the picture clearer? Then congratulations, you just graduated from “HOW TO FUCK THE TAX PAYING CITIZEN 101”

Have a nice day...